Horror As Art

I can't help it....
I love horror films.

It started at a young age, and it started with the Wolfman. I was absolutely riveted by the idea of a man changing into a wolf. I started checking out books from our school library about Lon Chaney Jr., Bela Lugosi, and Boris Karloff. In a way, my love for horror movies started my love for film, because this was the first time I was interested in the actors, the people that made the film, as well as the movie.

I saw them all, or as much as my Mom would let me watch. She is really responsible for my love of horror, whether she wants to admit it or not (I bet she's proud of that, however). She would tell us stories about killer mountain lions, severed fingers, and scary events from her childhood. I was transfixed on fear. I don't know why. Why are any of us attracted to being scared?

I am afraid of sharks. The idea of being in the water whenever a shark is nearby literally gives me goosebumps as I type this. It's an almost claustrophobic fear; a fear of no retreat. Despite this fear, I love documentaries and movies about sharks. Jaws is my favorite film of all time. I live for Shark Week. In essence, I am very much the same little boy wanting to hear more and more about the things that terrify me.

So listening to my Mom's scary stories lead me to the Wolfman. The Wolfman lead me to Dracula, The Mummy, and Frankenstein.

My fascination with the "unknown" eventually caused me to become an amateur junior cyrptozoologist by the time I was in 6th grade. I could tell you anything you'd want to know about Bigfoot, Nessie, UFO sightings, and ghosts...

Ghosts...

I loved books about haunted houses. I checked out Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark from the Londonderry Elementary library so many times, I could recite many of the stories, word for word. The artwork in that book was, and still is, extremely creepy.

As I aged, I wanted to find things that scared me more. I still loved (and still love) the Universal monster movies, but I felt like I was ready for something a little more intense. By this time, I was in 7th grade, and my 3 brothers and I lived in Wellston, OK, after moving from New Hampshire. We discovered the wonders of Wellston Video, and their massive collection of low-budget to blockbuster horror movies. You could rent 5 movies for 5 days for 5 dollars. We watched every horror movie in Wellston Video, most of them twice. Our Dad would drive us in, and we'd pick out 5 rather quickly. We'd usually have 3 of them watched the first night, then the final two, the next. I have no idea how much money my Dad ultimately spent at Wellston Video, but we went 2 or 3 times a week during the Summer, always renting 5 at a time.

There has never been another time in my life like those nights in Wellston with my brothers. My life is so much better now, being married and having a son, but the innocence and freedom during that period of my life will never be duplicated. It was such a joy, and I think that's why it irritates me when people tell me how awful and "Satanic" horror films are. They were simply fun. A release for 3 boys who weren't exactly sure who they were or where they belonged.

During these horror film marathons, the films would mostly be laughable. Low to zero budget films with horrible overacting, 40 year old high school seniors, and ridiculous kill scenes. These were the best. We would laugh until our stomachs hurt. Many nights, our friend Mike would join us. We would always choose at the beginning of the film which character represented ourselves. Mike would always choose the most ridiculous character in the film and, 9 times out of 10, Mike would be the first to die. He would then feign sorrow and horror at the murdering of his avatar, while we rolled with laughter. It was absolutely beautiful.

Other times, you'd find a legitimately scary film; one that would stick with you while you were trying to sleep. Though we enjoyed watching the goofy ones together the best, I started mentally cataloging the really good ones, knowing one day I'd watch them again. I started to look for redeeming qualities in the bad ones, as well. In a way, finding really well made horror movies amongst a plethora of horribly hilarious films taught me how to watch movies: how did so-and-so achieve that feeling using lights; does music add or take away from this scene; what is it that really scares me, and how can a filmmaker pull that off?

I discovered Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Shining, The Exorcist, Jacob's Ladder, Night of the Living Dead, The Serpent and the Rainbow, Halloween, and a few others that I genuinely love. These were movies that rose above the idea of just a good horror film; these were just good films, period.

I have gone back and forth over my love for horror. Sometimes, I would feel bad about liking such a despised genre. I would feel like there was something wrong with me. Why am I attracted to dark things? I'd soon realize that any conviction I felt didn't come from God, it came from religion. As I've aged and matured, there are certain things I do not like to watch. I'm not interested in anything that is gratuitously sexual. I do not like sacrilegious things, unless there is something redeeming in the end. But for the most part, I just enjoy being scared. Until Jesus tells me other wise, I probably always will.